The Funny of Flipping Out

This was a slow and trying week at work.  I am lucky enough to run four to six straight weeks of work before I need to take a day off. I get meaner, apathetic.  I get on that on ramp and see as how Dave puts it, ants marching.  This week went long since it was a three day weekend and time knows us. Time slows down purposely because it knows I need this.  Lucky me, I made it through Friday and left early. It takes me about thirty minutes to get home without any delays. I commute in the opposite direction of the traffic but I still have my fair share of knuckleheads.  And it you ever been over to this edge of the woods, it is filled with F-number, number number trucks. 150-350 trucks coming up behind you like a man in prison or stays in the fast lane because ‘we got big trucks and you can’t move us’.  I digress. Unfortunately, this week a fireman died. I don’t know the full story and I am all for honoring these women and men that serve our society because we are nuts.  However, I am not for shutting down an entire exit on a freeway on a long holiday weekend, during Friday rush hour and diverting traffic and causing stop-start interludes. Who would think this was safe?  Hundreds of people are driving and then you single file line them up to an exit.  Mind you, rush hour, its rush hour for freakin’ sake.  Is the slain benefiting from this? How is this an honor to potentially cause fender benders, delay people’s time, waste their gas, and increase emissions.  Additionally, a set of fire trucks lined themselves on the median between the on ramp and flow of traffic and they stood outside their trucks.  And, of course, people slowed down here which causes further distractions.

Like I said, no disrespect but in the name of Spock, the needs of many outweigh the needs of the few.

That being said, I accepted it. Figured, I will enjoy some music on the way home.  However, I was only Zen until I was at Victoria’s Secret to get a bachelorette gift for a third tier friend. My good friend and I were there to go in on a gift.  I figured to use VS’s coupon for a pair of free undies. They are very particular about this free offer so I made sure to pick up two different types hoping one would qualify. When I was at the counter, she was going to give to me one of them that I brought up but I forced the clarification. She then stated it has to be exactly the one that is pictured on the coupon, exactly having a lace trim on top.  I ventured back to the disheveled table and reviewed the back of the coupon. It clearly states ‘free..any color’.  It does not specify the type. I went back to the counter and read this to her and she looks and me and says ‘yeah’ and I read it again for her GED holding  dumbass.  She then explains it has to have the lace trim on top and can be of any color of that one.  I didn’t acknowledge and turned away and went to find my friend.

My friend was not to be found as I went all around the store, outside the store then back to the back of the store to find her shopping in the corner.  She says ‘hey, you seen these bathing suits?”.  I start going off.  I am tearing up the coupon and winging it all over the floor and doling out insults to the idiocracy of this woman and announce that ‘I’m done’.  And a true friend my friend is, she put down the bathing suit and follows my command.  The same sales girl comes running around the corner. Who knows if she heard my rant.  She offers to help me and I tell her no. She asks if I am sure….  She has no idea how sure I am?  There’s a devil’s voice that resides in me and only a few have heard it.  I stop and turn my head (yes, like the exorcist) and that low dropped voice slices through the air delivering sharp, concise bloody words of  “I’ve looked over there twice now and I dont want it. That area is a mess!”

It wasn’t clever, it wasn’t insulting nor filled with profanity. However, tone can make all the difference. Luckily, my good friend was there later to laugh at me about it all.  I never flip out. But, she knew it was time for us to go.  I had set the veto down.

My Friday was indeed exciting.  I was herded off the freeway but for a good reason; I lost my cool in a lingerie store and I had a good friend to laugh with me about it over a nice glass of wine.  That may not be the pretty stuff but its the stuff of life.

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